Expanding My Horizons

I finally reached a point in my evolution that I realized the issue of racism is an area that where I was HUGELY ignorant. I’ve worked with my friend Lexxi McBride and others to develop a reading list to broaden my horizons on the issue of racism and how to increase my understanding and knowledge of other cultures in general. Reading about racism has made me realize how ignorant I am in multi-ethnic reading and am trying to read more from authors that are not white men! Disclaimer: This is NOT a reading list for young readers, these books are not necessarily certified G or PG-12.

I’ve talked to several people that were interest in this list so here it is. I’d love for you to drop your recommendations in the comments.

*Books I’ve actually read – the others are on my list!

Book List

  • A Dream Called Home, Reyna Grande*
  • A House of Broken Angels, Luis Alberto Urrea
  • A Human Being Died That Night: Confronting Apartheid’s Chief Killer, Gobodo-Madikizela
  • A Lucky Man, Jamel Brinkley
  • A Raisin in the Sun, Loraine Hansberry
  • Act Like a Leader, Think Like a Leader, Ibarro Hermania
  • After Life: A Novel, Julia Alvarez
  • Air Traffic: A Memoir of Ambition and Manhood in America, Gregory Pardio
  • Akata Witch, Nnedi Okorafor
  • Americanah, Chimanda Ngozi Adichie
  • An American Marriage, Tayari Jones
  • Beloved, Toni Morrison
  • Be the Bridge: Pursuing God’s Heart for Racial Reconciliation, LaTasha Morrison*
  • Between the World and Me, Ta-Nehisi Coates
  • Biased: Uncovering the Hidden Prejudice That Shapes What We See, Think and Do, Jennifer Eberhardt
  • Bird of Paradise: How I Became Latina, Raquel Cepeda
  • Born a Crime, Trevor Noah
  • Casi Una Mujer, Esmerelda Santiago
  • Caste: The Origins of Our Discontents, Isabel Wilkerson
  • Catalog of Unabashed Gratitude, Ross Gay
  • Charcoal Joe, Walter Mosley
  • Children of Blood and Bone, Tomi Adeyemi
  • City of Beasts, Isabell Allende
  • Clap When You Land, Elizabeth ACevedo
  • Doing Justice: A Prosecutor’s Thoughts on Crime, Punishment, and the Rule of the Law, Preet Bharara
  • Dreams of My Father, Barack Obama
  • Drop the Ball: Achieving More by Doing Less, Tiffany Dufu
  • Five Carat Soul, James McBride
  • For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow was Enuf, Ntozake Shange
  • Fruit of the Drunken Tree, Ingrid Rojas Contreras
  • Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story, Ben Carson, MD
  • Girl, Woman, Other, Bernardine Evarista
  • Guidebook to Relative Strangers: Journeys Into Race, Motherhood. and History, Camille T. Dungy
  • Heavy: An American Memoir, Kiese Laymon
  • Heros in Black History, Dave and Neta Jackson (Recommended by Chase Bowers)
  • Homegoing, Yaa Gyasi
  • How the Garcia Girls Lost Their Accents, Julia Alvarez
  • How to Be an Antiracist, Ibram X. Kendi*
  • I’m Still Here: Black Dignity in a World Made for Whiteness. Auston Channing Brown
  • I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings, Autobiography #1, Maya Angelo*. (Anything written by Maya Angelo!!) This is the first of her five autobiographies — I’m on 3 of 5, they are wonderful!!
  • Insider Outsider: My Journey as a Stranger in White Evangelicalism and My Hope for Us All, Bryan Loritts*
  • Just Mercy: A Story of Justice and Redemption, Bryan Stevenson
  • Kindred, Octavia Butler
  • Letter to My Daughter, Maya Angelou*
  • Locking Up Our Own: Crime and Punishment in Black America, James Forman, Jr.
  • Long Walk to Freedom: The Autobiography of Nelson Mandela
  • Lost Children Archive, Valeria Luiselli
  • Lovesong: Becoming a Jew, Julius Lester
  • Malcom and Me, Ismael Reed (only on Audible.com)*
  • Martin & Malcolm & America: A Dream or a Nightmare
  • Minority Leader: How to Lead from the Outside and Make Change, Stacey Abrams
  • My Bondage and My Freedom, Frederick Douglass
  • Off the Reservation, Paula Gunn Allen
  • One Hundred Years of Solitude, Gabriel Garcia Marquez
  • Oneness Embraced, Tony Evans (recommended by Chase Bowers)
  • Outliers: The Story of Success, Malcolm Gladwell
  • Parable of the Sower, Octavia Butler
  • Queenie, Candice Carty-Williams
  • Reading with Patrick, Michelle Kuo*
  • Red at the Bone, Jacqueline Woodson
  • Right Color, Wrong Culture: The Type of Leader Your Organization Needs to Become Multiethnic, Bryan Loritts
  • Running, Natalia Sylvester
  • Same Kind of Different as Me, Ron Hall and Denver Moore* This book started my journey to realizing how white-washed my worldview is.
  • Saving the Saved: How Jesus Saves Us from Try-Harder Christianity into Performance-Free Love, Bryan Loritts
  • Seeking Allah, Finding Jesus, Nabeel Qureshi
  • Silver Sparrow, Tajari Jones
  • Spirit Run, Noe Alvarez
  • Stamped from the Beginning, Ibram X. Kendi
  • Such a Fun Age, Kiley Reid
  • Take This Stallion, Anais Duplan
  • The Alchemist, Paulo Coelho
  • The Autobiography of Malcolm X, Malcolm X*
  • The Awkward Thoughts of W. Kamau Bell
  • The Color of Compromise: The Truth about the American Church’s Complicity in Racism, Jemar Tisby
  • The Color of Law, Richard Rothstein
  • The Color Purple, Alice Walker
  • The Cross and the Lynching Tree, James Cone
  • The Distance Between Us, Reyna Grande
  • The Fifth Season, NK Jemison
  • The Fire This Time: A New Generation Speaks about Race, Jesmyn Ward
  • The Girl Who Smiled Beads, Wamriya Clementine*
  • The Girl With the Louding Voice, Abi Dare
  • The Hate U Give, Angie Thomas
  • The House of Mango Charlie, Sandra Cisneros
  • The Light of the World, Elizabeth Alexander
  • The Measure of a Man, Sidney Poiter
  • The Mis-Education of the Negro, Carter G. Woodson (recommended by Eric Mason)
  • The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness, Michelle Alexander
  • The Race Whisper: Barack Obama and the Political Uses of Race, Melanye Price
  • The Sun is Also a Star, Nicola Yoon
  • The Warmth of Other Suns: The Epic Story of America’s Great Migration, Isabel Wilkerson
  • The Watson’s go to Birmingham, Christopher Paul Curtis
  • Their Eyes Were Watching God, Zora Neale Hurston
  • Things Fall Apart, Chinua Achebe
  • Unbowed, Wangari Maathai
  • Under Our Skin, Benjamin Watson*
  • Uncomfortable Conversations With a Black Man, Emmanuel Acho*
  • When I was Puerto Rican, Esmerelda Santiago
  • White Awake: An Honest Look at What it Means to be White, Daniel Hill
  • White Fragility: Why It’s so Hard for White People to Talk About Racism, Robin DiAngelo*
  • White Lies: Nine Ways to Expose and Resist the Racial Systems that Divide Us, Daniel Hill
  • Wild Seed, Octavia Butler
  • Woke Church: An Urgent Call for Christians in America to Confront Racism and Injustice, Eric Mason*
  • Workin’ Our Way Home, Ron Hall*
  • Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria, Beverly Daniel Tatum, PhD

I’ve also read some great articles listed as references in the back of several books I’ve read!

Podcasts

I struggle with podcasts, but these have been recommended to me

  • White Lies, NPR
  • 1619

The Origin and Impact of Black History Month

I’m not going to spend the entire month on Black History Month, although I easily could, I hope that these little tidbits I’ve learned will peak your curiosity and get you to want to learn more.

I’m so ignorant and arrogant that I thought “Black History Month was developed as a token gesture by the white establishment”2 and since I actually read that in an article, I must not be the only one who thinks that. I did not know that Black History Month traces its roots back to 1926 and one man, Carter Godwin Woodson (1875-1950). Woodson was a self educated son of slave that got to attend high school at the age of 20. He finished high school in two years, earned a degree in literature and was the second African American to earn a doctorate at Harvard University.2 He went on to be a teacher, principal and supervisor of schools where he realized that that the history of African Americans was not a part of school curriculum so he founded the Association for the Study of Afro-American Life and History in 1915. He would then start Negro History Week that evolved into Black History Month during the Black Consciousness Movement in the 1960’s. Woodson’s goal was to “reinvigorate the self-esteem, sense of power and hunger for justice of a long-oppressed people.”2 Woodson’s second goal for Negro History Week was racial reconciliation, if whites learned about the contributions of Blacks to American History “this awareness would engender respect.”2 I am ashamed to admit that it’s 2021, almost one hundred years later and many of us have yet to get the memo!

The Association for the Study of African American Life and History(the same organization Mr. Woodson started in 1915) establishes a theme for Black History month every year. This year’s theme is: The Black Family: Representation, Identity and Diversity. The flyer this year states, “Not only are individual black families diasporic, but Africa and the diaspora itself have been long portrayed as the black family at large.” I know about the diaspora of the Jews, I never thought about how what happened to those sold into slavery was also a diaspora and the impact it has on the community and family.

“The breakdown of the black community, in order to maintain slavery, began with the breakdown of the black family. Men and women were not legally allowed to get married because you couldn’t have that kind of love. It might get in the way of the economics of slavery. Your children could be taken from you and literally sold down the river.” 1 When you consider this reality of the family of slaves, the poverty many of them were thrust in to with “freedom”, you can see the impact on the family would last for generations. I’ve worked with a couple of kids who were trying to start out with nothing and it’s so overwhelming. We take so for granted the advantage of our support system. It seems so hopeless, but these are just a few examples give me hope:

“…A son of my late father, who was a pastor, a veteran, and a small businessman, and my mother who was a teenager growing up in Waycross, Georgia, used to pick somebody else’s cotton.  But the other day, because this is America, the 82 year old hands that used to pick somebody else’s cotton went to the polls and picked her youngest son to be a United States Senator.” January 6, 2021 Raphael Warnock upon his election to the US Senate.
“Shed some tears just now when I saw they were thinking about speeding up the process of putting Harriet Tubman on the $20 bill. I have 4 daughters who in their lifetime have seen a president and vice president who looks like them. And soon they will could see a face like theirs on a $20 bill. I could not have imagined any of this in my childhood. Their dreams and goals are amplified to a level I could never have imagined when I was a kid. My dad always said if you put your mind to it you could do anything but I would never have dared to dream such things. Does not seem real.” Stolen from our own Chris Stephens Facebook post January 25, 2021, 10:48 p.m. (used without permission)

It has to leave you wondering, “How can I make a difference and continue to support and encourage our black brothers and sisters?” You have to continually educate yourself, continually step out of what you know, spend time with people who don’t look like you, who don’t think like you, who don’t believe like you, read, read, read! I am constantly amazed by how little I actually know, I think you may be amazed too! I end with my favorite quote:

1 Washington, K. (2021). Picking Up the Pieces: The Black Family Struggle. In Uncomfortable Conversations With A Black Man (p. 129). S.l.: FLATIRON BOOKS.

2Novelli, J. (2009, July 7). The History Behind Black History Month. Retrieved January 21, 2021, from https://www.tolerance.org/magazine/the-history-behind-black-history-month

Black History Month — It’s for White People too!!

If I’m being honest, I never really cared that there was Black History Month. I didn’t think it applied to me. Then I began reading voraciously about the topic of racism and learned I am exactly why we need Black History Month. I attended public school in the 1970’s and my education was definitely white washed! President Reagan signed the bill establishing Martin Luther King Jr’s birthday as a national holiday in 1983, it wasn’t actually commemorated until 1986. The addition of this national holiday added a school holiday and opportunity for educators to talk about at least one important black man in history. My concern is that we’ve gone from an openly racist system to a generation that believes we live in a post-racist society and have completely missed a huge chunk of our history.

Why Black History Month is Important for White People:

  • There is a sentiment that we live in a post-racist society, yet in 2016-17;
    • Ten richest Americans: 100 percent white (seven of whom are among the richest in the world)
    • US Congress: 90 percent white
    • US governors: 96 percent white
    • Top military advisers: 100 percent white
    • President and Vice President – 100 percent white
    • US House Freedom Caucus: 99 percent white
    • US presidential cabinet: 91 percent white
    • People who decide which TV shows we see: 93 percent white
    • People who decide which books we read: 90 percent white
    • People who decide which news is covered: 85 percent white
    • People who decide which music is produced: 95 percent white
    • People who directed the on hundred top-grossing films of all time, worldwide: 95 percent white
    • Teachers: 82 percent white
    • Full-time college professors: 84 percent white
    • Owners of men’s professional football teams: 97 percent white1
  • As Christians we should be the leaders in the fight for equality. Eric Mason in his book Woke Church blames the church for the radical turn of the Black Lives Matter movement because the church should have been the first to champion the cause of Black Lives. Yet here we sit in 2021 and still the most segregated hour is Sunday Morning Worship. Not a new issue folks. James Cone wrote about Martin Luther King Jr’s (Jan 15, 1929 – April 4, 1968) view of the church ,

Despite his disappointment with the white church, King did not abandon his faith commitment and its link with the universal church. King was a universalist who believed that the gospel of Jesus demanded freedom for all. The white church’s failure to follow the mandates of the gospel did not invalidate it. Rather the white church’s failure, King believed, obligated him and other Christians to bear witness more than ever to the universal message of the gospel so that the world might know that true Christianity is not only concerned with heaven over yonder but also with the quality of life here on earth.2

So, if therefore, you consider yourself a Christian, a person on the planet, or a decent human being, Black History Month should be important to you. Take a moment, get out of your bubble and look at things from a different perspective. Challenge your thinking, look at someone else’s perspective, use the Google for good!

1 DiAngelo, R. J. (2020). White Fragility: Why it’s so Hard for White People to Talk About Racism (p. 31). Boston: Beacon Press.

2 Cone, J. H. (1991). Martin & Malcolm & America: A Dream or a Nightmare (p. 141). London: Fount.

‘You Steer Where you Stare’

I stole this from Lysa Terkeurst, in her book The Best Yes. I’ve been overwhelmed of late with situations that seem so hopeless. I don’t want to be one of those people who so obnoxiously retorts to everything, “God is good!” Because while it is true that God is good, life is still H A R D. Kids get sick, I don’t mean with the chicken pox or strep throat, I mean they get cancer, their organs fail or they get hit by a truck. Sometimes they die and we are broken. Marriages fail, spouses die, parents deteriorate, people lie, cheat and steal and we are left hurting and tempted to feel hopeless.

But still you steer where you stare. Even in, maybe especially in, the hopeless circumstances we face it is crucial that you fix your gaze on hope. In 1952 Norman Vincent Peale wrote the book The Power of Positive Thinking. It’s not a new concept. As Christians we cling to Hebrews 12:2 that tells us to fix our eyes on Jesus. The four noble truths of Buddhism deal with suffering. The Hindus believe in karma which relates to the cause and effect where the intent of today influences the outcome of the future. The New Age movement is all about positive thinking. Native American religion focuses on peace and harmony with nature. Malcolm X preached that if you take one step toward Allah, he’ll take two steps toward you. The common denominator in all these beliefs is: perspective matters! How you come through hard times is determined by what you focus on. When you keep your eyes on the possibility, the hope in Christ, the view is clearer.

How deep is the mud? Depends on who you ask.

This current circumstance may in fact be horrific, but it won’t be forever. It may feel like forever, especially when you are in the tunnel of terrible and have yet to see a glimpse of an end. This pandemic will not last forever even though right now, today, it sure feels like it will. Whatever hardship you are facing will not be forever. It may in fact be the rest of this life, but this life is not forever either.

My faith comes from the hope of those who I've seen triumph over tragedy and being able to look back at my own life and see that what seemed like forever in perspective was really only a bleep on the radar.  Remember when you thought that kid would never: walk, talk, sleep, be potty trained, move out?  Remember when you thought that rebellious kid was a lost cause?  Remember when you thought Christmas or summer break would never come?  I want to spend so much time lamenting the horror, staring at the hard, that I end up driving the ship into the ground.  That's why Hebrews encourages us to look around, others have succeeded, look up, there's hope.  Focus on Jesus the author and perfecter of our faith.  He knows it needs perfecting.  One of Stephen Covey's Seven Habits of Highly Effective People was: Begin with the end in mind, as Christians the end is eternity, we begin with the trials of the day, at some point He takes it all away and replaces it with glory.

You often hear people say, "I don't know how they survived that!"  Truth is they don't know how they did either.  We survive the unthinkable often times by sheer determination and just doing the next thing.  When you can't even muster the courage to begin much less have the end in mind, Jesus carries us.  We wake up on the other side wondering how we got there.  But in 'fixing our eyes' we can take so much pain out of the journey.  You don't have to carry all your bags, check them at the curb, you're invited to lay down your burdens and experience relief even in the midst of overwhelming trials.

Best Seat in the House

I grew up in the 1970’s and 80’s when concerts were wild and cheap. My first concert was the Doobie Brothers – Michael McDonald – swoon! For my 16th birthday my sister Sydney and her husband Tom took me and a friend to see KC and Sunshine Band in concert at Six Flags. It was a great trip, we mooned truckers on the highway, rode every ride and sang like no tomorrow at the concert.

In the glory days of concerts there were no seats. The floor was open for all of us to cram in and fight to get up front, only the old creepy people sat up in the seats. Front row seats were a big arena thing where seats were all around the stage and you were expected to stay in or at least near your seat. Front row seats were highly coveted and often a pair was given away in a highly sought after radio contest.

But sometimes front row seats are not the best seats. In some venue’s front row seats restrict your view and you miss things. In the movie theater front row seats are the last to fill because they are usually just too close. Sometimes front row seats break your neck because you strain to see and hold that position the entire show. When I bought tickets to a comedy play at the Kennedy Center for Performing Arts when we were in DC, there was one seat front and center, but I chose another, because I highly suspected people in the audience would be asked to participate. I was not wrong! My seat was safely in the middle where I could enjoy the taunting of other patrons.

So where is the best seat? It’s not a one size fits all answer. Nosebleed seats can be great when you scraped together every penny to get to experience something you love. Sometimes its great just to be there! Nosebleed seats are the worst if you have a bad knee, a bad hip or bad back and have to climb all those stairs or if you have a fear of heights. I’ve never had 50 yard line seats, but hear they are great. My sister likes end zone seats at Cowboy’s games. I’ve had crummy seats and great binoculars. I’ve had crummy seats and great company. I’ve also had great seats with grouchy people that kind of ruined it.

It also matters whose is in the rows behind you when you have front row seats. A rowdy obnoxious crowd behind you can ruin front row seats propelling you closer to the action to try to see the show. Fans behind you can throw flowers or objects that make you fear for your life. Conversely a crowd behind you really into the show can suck you into the energy and take the show to new levels. Great company can make it all, good and bad, worth it. It all really comes down to perspective.

Life often pushes us to the front row of hard things. My dear friend has front row seats to her twenty-three year old daughter’s fight for life through a liver transplant. Another is living with the diagnosis of a spouse with Alzheimers. Another an only child burying their remaining parent. These are not good seats! We all face difficult trials, but having front row seats to life’s hardest moments is beyond tough. I’ve seen friends have front row seats as their children struggle with suicide and depression. I had a front row seat when they were uselessly doing CPR on my dead husband. I had front row seats with a smart kid that just could not read. I often have front row seats to the hard times of others. Front row seats can really really SUCK! And honestly for many of life’s trials there is not a good seat in the house.

So if I get to pick a seat, it will be next to someone who will help make it the best experience possible. Someone who will point me to Jesus, help me find the humor in the situation and the good in others. Someone who will be filled with hope and encouragement. Someone who will lament the negative and help me move on. These days, if I get to pick a seat, (especially at in service!!) it’s probably going to be in the back with the fun people! When I am assigned a seat, I hope that I will be a good seat companion and part of a great audience and let the show take me it where it leads and that is a better place!

Keep Seeking

To say that I am the opposite of a musical person is a gross understatement. My grandfather bought us a piano when I was very young, maybe even before I was born. He wanted his granddaughters to play the piano. My oldest sister took lessons for twelve years, the next took lessons for eight, I didn’t even make it a year. At recital time the piano teacher suggested (strongly) that my talents evidently lay elsewhere.

I had a similar experience with sewing. I vividly remember spending lots of time with my mom and sisters at Cloth World. I also remember the first time I got a store bought dress. My mother made all our clothes, she even made swim suits and Barbie clothes. She made my and Sydney’s wedding dresses. We shopped for my wedding dress, but when I couldn’t find what I wanted and described to my mom, she said, “I could make that.” And she did. My mother and both my sisters each made their own maternity clothes with the same sewing machine, I was never offered the machine (nor the piano for that matter), I had also failed sewing lessons.

I’m not sure how old I was, but I remember the summer day when mom decided she’d teach me to sew. We went to Cloth World. I picked out a pattern. I picked out the fabric. It was a cute white eyelet, simple, sleeveless top. I was super excited. I also remember mom telling me in frustration, “Go, I’ll make you whatever you want.” And she did, while I disappeared outside. My kids knew if they needed mending or awesome Halloween costumes, Grandma Nina could make miracles happen. She did draw the line at mending underwear that Paxton put in the mending pile once, she was unfazed by the fact he loved those underwear! Me and Paxton are good at finding people’s limits.

Sports came easily to our oldest son. If he lacked talent, he was always the biggest on the team and seemed to have boundless energy. He just loved being on a team. Our youngest could not have been more opposite. He grew up watching his brother play sports and when it came time for him to play, he was perfectly content on the sidelines. The last season he played soccer, I remember him saying to me in the car after a game, “How many more years are you going to make me do this?” Turns out, that was a good question and he never played again.

My oldest son has always wanted to be in law enforcement. My sister always wanted to be a school teacher. The rest of us struggle. I’m 58 years old and still don’t really know what I want to do when I grow up. I’m beginning to think I may never know.

It may be obvious what we’re not good at but knowing where we excel can be another story. It’s funny as I sit here typing and reflecting, I can remember with such vivid detail stories and circumstances of my failures, but when I stop and think of victories they elude me. I know I’m not a complete failure, but it’s the failures that stick with me. And I don’t think that’s the worst thing ever. It keeps me humble. It keeps me seeking. It keeps me learning. So I live as though I still have so much to learn and the wisdom of others rushes to the front of my mind far faster than my own.

Disappointed

Yes, it is true–God will remain faithful even when you’re not, because his faithfulness rests on who he is, not on what you’re doing.

Paul David Tripp

Paul Tripp wrote a Wednesday Word about disappointment that really struck a chord with me. He lists six signs you are a disappointed Christian:

  • Disappointment with God
  • Lack of motivation for ministry
  • Numbing yourself
  • Envy of others’ lives
  • Letting go of the habits of faith
  • Greater susceptibility to temptation

I read through the list thinking, I’m not disappointed with God! I might lack motivation for ministry. I am guilty of numbing myself. I do envy others’ lives. I have let go of habits of faith. Surely my susceptibility to temptation is worse than EVERYone else. YIKES! I think I may be disappointed with God!?!?

I am still disappointed that my trip to Israel was cancelled last year. I am disappointed that I’ll never celebrate another wedding anniversary. I am disappointed when the dogs destroy something else. I am disappointed when someone hurts my feelings. I am disappointed with myself. I never thought that in boiling down all that disappointment, really I am disappointed with God and I don’t feel good about that! I felt way better being disappointed with everything else, I feel really bad about being disappointed in God — how dare I?

But I do dare! My friend Allyson, an Army wife, once said, “I don’t need to know the future, or God’s plan but couldn’t he just let me look at the outline?” I want to look at the outline too! But instead of the outline I get his word that takes faith to apply to my own life. I get an outline that seems too abstract to be a guide for my little pointless life. Ultimately my disappointment is a lack of faith. An inability to trust that God is in control and he does have a plan that is greater than what I could conceive.

But, Dr. Tripp does offer us hope! We can admit our weakness to God, become more aware of the things we say to ourselves, seek the company of those who have the confidence, joy and motivation you lack and look for reasons to be thankful and encouraged.

It really comes down to perspective. How do I handle the disappointments I face. Do I face them with hope, trusting that God is in control and that I know how the story ends? Or do I listen to the soundtrack in my mind that repeats, you’re not good enough, you’re not worthy, you don’t deserve better? This old SNL clip is funny, but all joking aside it does matter what we say to ourselves. It matters way more than you think it would.

And if what I say to myself matters so much, think how much more the words I say to others matter. My default is snarky and sarcastic, that’s not always well received, I know I’ve been a disappointment to many. But I also don’t want to disappoint and if I’m not going to disappoint I have to put effort into building up myself and others.

So my prayer for us today is that we would embrace our fuzzy vision trusting that God knows our future and promises us it will all work out in the end

Even the sparrow finds a home, 
    and the swallow a nest for herself, 
    where she may lay her young, 
at your altars, O Lord of hosts, 
    my King and my God. 
Blessed are those who dwell in your house, 
    ever singing your praise! Selah 

Psalm 84:3-4

Kiss the wave

“I have learned to kiss the wave that throws me against the Rock of Ages.”

Charles Spurgeon

Just when you think things couldn’t get any worse – January 6, 2021. We are left wondering who are the good guys? And where are they? For followers of Christ we know not to look horizontally, but to look vertically, yet the horizontal pushes against us.

Mark Batterson wrote a devotional last week based on the Spurgeon quote above. He also quoted John Piper who said, “Don’t waste your cancer.” God will work all things together for good — but there is a requirement on our part. We have to let him in to do the work. I can plan, schedule, even pay for the repair work on my home to be done, but the only way the work will happen is if I let the repairmen in. I have to participate. Suffering finds us all, it’s how we let that suffering mold us and shape us that truly produces fruit.

When my kids were in the phase where the battles were mostly verbal, we had a discussion about tornadoes. When I hurl an insult and you retaliate with another insult, the insults grow stronger and stronger and swirl into a tornado. Once the tornado gets started the destruction is devastating and far reaching, not to mention clean up is overwhelming. But these tornadoes are preventable, I don’t have to perpetuate the cycle by trying to one up you. I can let the repairman in. I choose a better path, stop the tornado, avoid the destruction. What I think Charles Spurgeon is telling us is that the waves will come, but I get to decide what will the waves push me up against.

Brian Loritts, in his book Insider Outsider, talks about our need to move from orthodoxy to orthopraxy. As I’m not a seminarian, I had to look that up! Orthodoxy refers to correct belief while orthopraxy leads us to correct conduct. So often I’ve believed orthodoxy is enough and not had the fortitude to apply it consistently to my conduct. I’ve rather lived by the mantra, “Do what I say, not what I do.” My head knows what’s real and right, but I stumble truly living it out. It’s what I do that really makes an impact. The weakest argument ever is “I know, but…”

The most effective way for the enemy to stop the work of God on earth is to have us devour each other instead of celebrate and work together.

Jennie Allen

In this current climate of political ugliness I’m left wondering where are the good guys? But I can’t look around for the good guys, I have to look to our perfect example of Christ and then BE the good guys! We aren’t defined by our beliefs we are defined by our behavior. Paul told the Colossians, “Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free; but Christ is all, and in all.” (Colossians 3:10) I cannot define myself as Republican or Democrat, conservative or liberal, white or black, male or female, good or bad, right or wrong, just simply a flawed child of God. I can only endeavor to be a follower of Christ and allow him in to do the work in me so that his purpose can be fulfilled, even especially amongst the chaos. I have a choice to perpetuate the chaos or behave in a manner worthy of the cross. Let’s don’t waste the chaos to point to Christ.

And we know for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28

Snow day!!!

Thank God every day for the wisdom and protection of his law, but don’t ask it to do for you what only his amazing grace can do.

Paul David Tripp

We lived in Utah when our youngest was born. They never heard of a “snow day.” But then again, they got snow, not usually ice, they knew how to manage it and people actually knew how to drive in it. One of the many reasons I love Texas is Snow Days! We don’t get them very often, but what a beautiful gift they are, most of their beauty comes from the fact that, weatherly speaking, they just aren’t all that bad. Their rarity adds to their beauty. They are like that extra hour you get when the time changes, they are true illustrations of the gift of grace, don’t focus on that ‘you have to give it back part.’

We’re on the third Head of School since I’ve been at CTCS (I started in 2004). Some of them have been more generous with snow days than others. Some of us like snow days better than others. I don’t know how many snow days we’ve had in that time period but according to the weather man this is only the third time it has snowed significantly in Central Texas since 2000, when we moved here (April 7, 2007, February 23, 2010, Matt Hines, KXXV). Nobody counts ice storms, while they also get us out of school on occasion there is not one good thing about having to be out when it’s icy!

Ironically today is also National Clean Off Your Desk Day, as well as National Arkansas Day, National Human Trafficking Awareness Day, National Milk Day, and National Step in a Puddle and Splash Your Friend Day. I guess you get to pick how seriously you want to take this day. Will you be concerned about human trafficking or just splash your friend in a puddle? Who decides these days? How many can there actually be for one day? All that really matters is that you were given another day, it is in fact a gift. And that gift is attached to a choice: How will I use today? I wasted a lot of the morning sipping a cup a tea, contemplating this devotion, but it was in my pajamas and house shoes watching the snow melt and drip from the trees. I may or may not take down my Christmas tree. Regardless I will revel in the gift that is today.

Tuesday is not a snow day, but it is still a gift. Still I must get up and decide what I will do with this gift. I pray I choose wisely!

As each has received a gift, use it to serve one another, as good stewards of God’s varied grace:

I Peter 4:10

Life in the gray

I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man’s heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live;

Ecclesiastes 3:10-12

I have such a tendency to see the Bible as being so black and white. It so clearly states right from wrong, yet I feel like I live in the gray, so black and white must not really apply to me?!? I thought of the how I gloss over the story of the prodigal son like the time it takes to read the story is how long the father waits for the son to return. In the time it takes to read the story the son blows through his inheritance and is eating with pigs. We don’t get a timeline. We don’t know how long he waited for that son to return. We don’t know what dad did while he waited. Was he grouchy? Did he look for him everyday? Did he whine about him to his wives, servants or friends? (I’m pretty sure the Bible word for whine is lament, by the way) Did he send out a search party? Did he hire a private investigator to follow him and make sure he was okay?

The story seems to speed through the hard and focus on the celebration – hmmm? Could that be the point? I remember when my kids were little I thought they would never be out of diapers then someone pointed out that there are no kids that go to college in diapers. When we’re in the hard stuff we tend to hyper focus on the hard, to waller in the black as though the white has been removed. But life in the gray is what living for eternity looks like. It’s ugly, it hurts, it disappoints, it looks like it needs to be cleaned, there is a tacky residue but it is not forever. It’s just now, just today. So to me I think it’s all pretty much gray. We came from darkness, “The world was without form and void, and darkness was over the face of the earth.” (Gen 1:2 ESV) we are headed to eternity, that in our minds is bright and shiny–so that’s our black and white, all this in the middle is gray.

Like I know the end of the story for the prodigal son, I also know the end of my story, I just don’t have a grasp on the timeline! How long will I wait? How long will I endure? Why must I struggle with the same things over and over? When will I ever learn? The answer to all these questions is: Get over yourself, it doesn’t matter!! Because there is nothing better for me than to be joyful and to do good as long as I live, period, the end.

If eternity is the plan then it makes no sense to shrink your living down to the needs and wants of this little moment.

Paul David Tripp