It’s a girl…

Not an actual baby girl but this weekend my oldest son proposed to his girlfriend! As a mom of boys, adding a girl is a big deal for us and we couldn’t be more thrilled. These crazy kids got engaged on Sunday. He had all these big plans for the perfect proposal but plan A got rained out, then plan B got rained out, so he ended up proposing in my kitchen. She said she’d have said yes if he had proposed in front of a dumpster! She asked me to go dress shopping with her and bought a wedding dress on Monday! I guess when you know, you know. I never in my wildest dreams thought I’d get to help pick out a wedding dress. Now all they need is a date and place – the mad search begins!

Yippee, yippie, hip, hip, hooray
You get to plan a wedding day.
A daughter you'll get,
A best friend I bet.
What a fun way to end May!
  (Poem sent to me by Amy Beck)

It’s interesting to me that the question I am asked more than any other about my son having a girlfriend (now fiancé!) is, “Do you like her”? Not a criticism toward anyone who asked the question, I’ve said the same thing myself and it is a reflection on our culture. It’s not unlike when you have a death of someone close to you, you don’t realize the crazy things we say, until you’re there.

“Do you like her?”, is an interesting question. Would we ask do you like your own child? Do we get a choice? No one ever says, “How many kids do you have? Oh nice, do you like them?” My dad always gently reminded us every time we complained about our husbands, “You picked him!” and there are times in every relationship that we may not have been thrilled with that choice. But our ability to love has to outweigh the idea of liking someone. Jami Amerine frequently closes her blog: “He loves us and He likes us… and He delights in His creations.” So why don’t we delight in His creation?

My son loves this girl, of all the girls in the world he chose her, how can I not love that! She was not raised in a bubble, she’s travelled the world and of all the boys in the world, she picked him – and us to be her family.

The thing about it is … I choose to love this addition to our family just like the two that were born into it. I didn’t get to pick my kids out of a catalogue. Me and that boy I loved dreamt of having a family and these boys were the fulfillment of that dream. There have been times the dream was a little nightmarish, but we had each other. This bald headed boy has dreamed about marrying a girl someday, we’ve prayed for her for many, many years. and this is who he’s chosen. He’s not perfect, she’s not perfect and news flash – neither am I! So we continue being imperfect people trying to reflect the love we know because we first were loved, while we were yet sinners, even. Relationships are hard, marriage is not easy but counting on love, joy, heartache, hardship, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness and self-control love abounds! Welcome to our circus Starr!

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I’m so grateful this Starr landed in our lives and I’m thrilled they want to share that life with this creepy old lady!